Frequently Asked Questions
- What is an "Independent Adoption"?
- What are the risks involved?
- What about the birth father?
- What is the advantage to using your advertising service versus running my own ads?
- How much will the entire adoption process cost us?
- Why do people choose independent adoption?
- What kind of Birth Mothers contact you?
- How long does the Birth Mother have to change her mind?
- Do Birth Mothers who contact you want an "open adoption"?
- Who collects background and medical information on the Birth Mother?
- How long does it take?
What is "Independent Adoption"?
Independent adoption is a legal process by which a parent having legal and physical custody of a child places the child directly with the adoptive parents. Independent adoption is also known as "private adoption" or "direct placement adoption." Almost all states allow birth parents who wish to place their child for adoption to choose the adoptive parents. Nationally, about one-half of all infant adoptions are independent adoptions.
There is always the risk that, before her or his parental rights are terminated, a birth parent may change her or his mind and decide to parent the child themselves. Adoptive parents must willingly acknowledge and accept this risk. Pregnancy related expenses which have been paid by the adoptive parents cannot be recouped, nor can the payment of such expenses be used to pressure a birth parent to proceed with an adoptive placement.
Our office welcomes and supports birth father involvement in the adoption process, respecting the fact that each child has a birth mother and a birth father. Every attempt will be made by this office to identify the birth father, and inform him of the child's existence and the birth mother's adoption plan, as required by law. It is not necessary for the birth mother to have direct contact with the birth father during the adoption process. Our office will handle all communication with the birth father, if the birth mother prefers.
What is the advantage to using your advertising service versus running my own ads?
First
is the cost factor. AdoptHelp has many documented
clients
who have actually spent IN EXCESS OF $5,000.00 in advertising,
without results, and then hired AdoptHelp, thus duplicating
the cost. A substantial portion of our Phase I fees
are directed toward nationwide advertising. This
means
you will have several hundred thousand dollars worth
of advertising working toward obtaining the best
possible
situation for you. Yellow Page ads will appear in phone
books all across the country which allow
advertising. Other costs of "doing it yourself"
may include obtaining a toll-free telephone number
for Birth Mothers or paying for collect calls.
Second is the time factor. Not only is it very time consuming to place ads, but you must also screen all of the incoming calls. If you are running your own ads, you really need to be available to answer your phone 24 hours a day. We have spoken with many people who have not only spent thousands of dollars running their own advertising, but have also spent several years in this process, without success.
Third, AdoptHelp has professional expertise at placing the ads, as well as handling the responses. The majority of prospective adoptive families do not have a background in marketing and advertising, and with so many people wanting to adopt, it is important to have every possible advantage.
How much will the entire adoption process cost us?
The cost of a completed adoption can vary depending on the legal fees involved, the financial assistance for the Birth Mother, and where you and the Birth Mother are located. Some states allow the adoptive family to support the Birth Mother for the last few months of her pregnancy with what are called "pregnancy-related expenses." These expenses can include rent, food, utilities, medical, counseling, and maternity clothing, among other things. The majority of Birth Mothers who contact AdoptHelp have some form of medical insurance, or have, or are eligible for, public assistance.
Why do people choose independent adoption?
Generally, birth parents want to be involved in the decision regarding the future of their child, and they want to feel supported in making this decision.
Adoptive parents are often frustrated by criteria and requirements many agencies impose on them. Many agencies have lengthy waiting periods, and prospective adoptive parents are often uncomfortable waiting for someone else to do the work of establishing their family.
The greater sense
of control and involvement in the decision making process is
the primary reason both birth parents and adoptive parents choose
independent adoption.
What kind of Birth Mothers contact you?
Like all people, Birth Mothers come from diverse avenues of age, race, and socioeconomic backgrounds. They contact AdoptHelp anywhere from two weeks into the pregnancy to anytime after the birth. Therefore, it would not be fair to stereotype "Birth Mothers" into a general category or description. Every individual person and situation must be considered and respected as an entity, without preconceived notions. Carrying a child for nine months and then entrusting the baby to an adoptive family can be an incredibly painful and difficult decision. In order for a woman to plan this and follow-through with her commitment, she must have some very motivating factors. Some examples of motivating factors can include, but are not limited to, a strong conviction that her child must have a two-parent family, her financial inability to raise a child, or perhaps the mother simply is not ready to be a parent or does not desire to parent a child.
How long does the Birth Mother have to change her mind?
This
varies from state to state. With agency adoptions in
many states, including California, an irrevocable Relinquishment
of parental rights may be obtained anytime after the
Birth Mother leaves the birthing facility, thus shortening
your risk factor for a reclaim of a child. Although,
some states do allow a period to revoke the Relinquishment.
The California independent adoption process allows the
"placing birth parent(s)" 30 days to reclaim
her/his/their child after signing the consent, called
the Adoption Placement Agreement (APA), which is revocable
until the 31st day. However, there is a Waiver which
can be signed by the birth parent which waives the 30
day waiting period, therefore making the Placement Agreement
immediately irrevocable at the time of signing.
Specific information can be provided regarding your individual state requirements for terminating parental rights and the time period allowed for a birth parent to revoke their relinquishment.
Do Birth Mothers who contact you want an "open adoption"?
AdoptHelp handles both open and closed adoptions.
The majority of Birth Mothers who contact AdoptHelp
prefer what is considered a "semi-open" adoption.
This means the Birth Mother and adoptive family exchange
identifying information about each other, and may have
met. Any ongoing contact after the placement is a decision
made strictly between the Birth Mother and the adoptive
parents. Arrangements for ongoing communication, such
as sharing photos and letters, or engaging in telephone
or personal visits, will vary.
AdoptHelp considers everyone's desires concerning adoption during the interviewing and referral process.
Who collects background and medical information on the Birth Mother?
Our
initial intake includes questions concerning name, age,
race/ethnicity, American Indian heritage, address, phone,
due date, marital status, who the birth father is and
where he is located, does he know about her status,
does he know about her pregnancy/adoption decision,
is he agreeable, reason for choosing adoption, physical
description of both birth parents, do family and friends
support the adoption decision, medical insurance, public
assistance, means of support, education, job skills,
interests, pre-natal parental care, sex of child, drug,
alcohol, cigarette use, HIV and general familial medical/psychological/social
history, willingness to undergo drug/HIV testing and
other tests requested by the adoptive parents, what
characteristics she desires in an adoptive family such
as age, race, religion, other children, occupation,
stay-at-home mom, willingness to select a single, gay,
or lesbian parent, etc. Additionally, AdoptHelp asks
the Birth Mother to provide a written verification of
her pregnancy. Clients are strongly cautioned not to
provide financial assistance to any Birth Mother until
pregnancy is verified.
AdoptHelp may obtain from the Birth Mother information
concerning, but not limited to, medical and social history,
use of drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol before and during
pregnancy, identity, medical and social history and
whereabouts of alleged and presumed birth father(s).
Back to top
Legal Disclaimer
AdoptHelp is not a licensed adoption agency, nor is it associated
with any governmental or regulatory agency. We provide
legal services, and are subject to the Rules and
Regulations of the State Bar of California. The contents
of this site are solely for informational purposes.
It is not the intention of AdoptHelp that this site be construed as an offer to sell or
a solicitation of an offer. The content of this site
will
be periodically revised and updated. AdoptHelp, Inc.,
its owners and employees, make no representations
as
to the accuracy of any information contained herein.
Past success of a particular adoption does not guarantee
future results. Every adoption situation is different.
AdoptHelp, Inc. strongly recommends that every adopting
family consult with local counsel for advice on rules
and regulations applicable to the particular city
and
state in which they reside.
"The wonderful
work of the AdoptHelp staff has made me
very
happy, as well as so many others. You have touched
many lives and enriched many souls. Thank
you
again for the most precious gift - my son!"
Adoptive Parent