December 17th, 2017
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Joseph and Drew

Dear Birthmother

We are Drew & Joseph from South Carolina! Thank you for taking the time to consider our family while you decide who to entrust your child to. We would be more grateful than you could possibly know for the opportunity to share our life. We are a gay couple, so biological realities stand in the way of having a child ourselves, but we have always hoped to adopt and share what we’ve worked hard to build. We can’t say that a child, your child, will “make us whole” because we are already whole, but we are ready to grow. We are so excited to nurture our child and help them have a happy, full life. Thank you for taking the time to look at our goofy faces and read our story. We will be forever grateful for your help starting this new chapter in our lives.

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About Us

We met online during college. On our first date (we had calzones), Drew discussed his love of video games, and Joseph his love of literature and foreign languages. After dinner, we watched TV together. Drew was smitten by Joseph’s honest laughter, and Joseph was moved by Drew’s thoughtfulness and drive. We had found amazing jobs in Silicon Valley, and owned a home in the San Francisco Bay Area, but we were ready to start our family. It was time to come home, to South Carolina, to return to friends and family. Living in our college town allows Joseph to be the stay-at-home father he always wanted to be. Here we were able to afford our dream home, just a block from the apartment where we first lived together. Drew’s family is close by, and Joseph’s family lives a few hours away. They’re all excited to meet this newest member of our family.

At the time, marriage was not available to us, but after 3 years we made it official with a Domestic Partnership in California. The woman at the office put all other business on hold while she filed our paperwork, and the line of busy people behind us gave genuine applause. We felt the support of our community.

Several years later, thanks to the Supreme Court, we were finally able to get married and live wherever we wanted. We were married a few miles from our home in California, opting for something small and intimate (neither of us enjoys being the center of attention).

FACTS

  • To this day, we celebrate the anniversary of that first date by going out for dinner and watching Family Guy together on the sofa.
  • Joseph is an actor and educator with a local theatre company, and volunteers with local non-profits
  • Drew is a Financial Analyst for one of the largest companies in the world, one that is big on family and supports working parents
  • Our dog Tipper was carefully trained by a pregnant lady and raised alongside her daughter until she was two
  • Both of us have Master’s Degrees in fields we’re passionate about
  • We’ve traveled to 10 countries including Japan, Germany, Spain, Scotland, England, Ireland, and Canada…and still intend to visit more!

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About Drew

I’m your average, no nonsense goofball. I grew up in a rural town in South Carolina on 40 acres of dense forest in a log house that my father built. My parents, my two sisters, and I lived in the middle with my grandparents on one side and aunt, uncle, and cousins on the other. I spent my afternoons in the woods finding dead trees to push over or in my room playing video games, but I definitely spent more time inside than out. I was good in school, but got a lot more satisfaction from working, so I started my first job between middle and high school. I continued to work through high school, then through undergrad (Psychology), then through grad school (Human Resources), and have always found working to be rewarding and satisfying. I still play video games. Games that allow me to build something or to develop a character draw me in the most. I enjoy the creativity and sense of accomplishment they offer. I’ve kept all of my original games from childhood too, and I’m looking forward to the day when I can play them with my kid. I also enjoy off-the-wall comedy and am always on the lookout for children’s shows that have something interesting to say. I’ll probably be the “explainer” dad, answering the how and why questions. I think I know where the sun goes at night and why the sky is blue, but if I don’t, we can find out together!

About Drew (By Joseph)

Drew is my rock. His stability and dedication never cease to amaze me. Even when he doubts himself, he is able to push forward with what needs to be done in a way that I admire. This steady nature flows into all aspects of his life, including his relationships. He loves me more unconditionally than I think I’ve ever felt, and I know that he will do the same for our child. He will teach our future child how to fiercely advocate for themselves and provide a home base where they know they can turn at any time. z

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About Joseph

My dream has always been to take care of the home.

I didn’t grow up in any one place. My parents divorced, and my father was in the military, so while I consider Charleston, South Carolina to be my home, I never lived in any one place for more than a few years. I have lived in South Carolina, Georgia, New York, Arkansas, California, and Italy. I attended the University of South Carolina, graduating with a degree in Theatre and a minor in Japanese. In California, I decided to go back to school and got my MA in Comparative Literature from San Francisco State University.

Languages are extremely important to me, and I can currently carry on a conversation in Spanish, Japanese, Persian, and others. I want our future child to speak at least English and Spanish, though I also expect to learn and provide access to your child’s heritage language(s), whatever it may be.

Both of my parents had children with their new spouses as I was growing up, 5 in total, so I’ve cared for infants most of my life. I enjoyed making sure they were fed and clean while helping mold them into the most caring, open-minded young people I could. I developed a love of cooking and cleaning, ultimately learning to bake bread, make cheese, make clothes, and have even trained as a birth Doula!

About Joseph (By Drew)

Joseph is brilliant and knowledgeable in so many areas; religion, music, film, theater, world cultures, you name it. He plays multiple instruments and bakes bread and makes cheese and speaks an untold number of languages…the list goes on. He’s introduced me to so many new experiences; my world is much bigger than before we met.

In his soul, he’s a student; in his heart, he’s a teacher; in his home, he’s a caregiver.

About our dog, Tipper

Our little man came to live with our family almost three years ago through adoption! He’s a painfully handsome Pit/Lab mix named Tipper (he has white tips on his paws). His previous family raised him while the wife was pregnant with their first child, and he immediately fell in love with their infant daughter. For about a year after we got him, he would excitedly whimper whenever he saw a stroller because of how much he loved and missed his human sister. Our friends and family have brought their children of all ages to the house and he’s lavished them with attention. When our niece was less respectful of his personal space, he would lick her face to get her to start giggling, then run and hide under a table. He’s incredibly gentle and loving and will be an amazing “big brother” to our little one. In turn, we will be able to teach our child to respect and care for animals as beings in their own right with preferences and boundaries that should be respected but with endless wells of love to share.

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About our families and friends

Drew’s parents, Cretia and David, live in Blythewood, South Carolina in a home that David built. We have dinner with them and his sister Melissa and her husband Justin every week. They are all, like Drew, hardworking and down to earth people. His extended family lives close by as well. His eldest sister, her wife, and their two children all live in Vancouver. Drew’s father’s side of the family lives in St. Louis, Missouri where we frequently spend Christmas with his 75+ cousins, numerous Aunts and Uncles, and their countless spouses and children.

Joseph’s father, who goes by Joe, and his wife, Mellanie, live in Charleston, South Carolina. His siblings are scattered throughout the state: his oldest sister, Aubrie, is finishing up her degree at University of South Carolina; his youngest sister, Chandler, just began her undergraduate studies at Francis Marion; his brother Brendan is working and living in Charleston. His mother, Debbie, and her husband, Jeff, live in upstate New York with his brothers, Alex and Anthony. His extended family lives in Arkansas, Washington (DC and state), Japan, and Texas. Joseph also has a large “Persian Family” in San Francisco who welcomed him into their lives during the time he worked at their restaurant. Thanksgivings will almost certainly be spent at their home.

In addition to our huge and diverse family, our future child will have a big community of friends who will love them and help teach them about the world.

About our home and community

Our home is in one of the highest performing school districts in the state with a wide variety of options including bilingual immersion programs for multiple languages. We also have access to several private schools where some of our friends actually teach. Also, living a block or two from the University of South Carolina’s campus provides access to world-class libraries and resources. Education will be intimately woven into our future child’s life. Being the state capitol, Columbia is home to several Universities (including two HBCUs), as well as numerous arts and cultural festivals, the only independent arthouse cinema in the state, exceptional history, children’s and art museums, an award winning zoo and botanical garden (where Drew’s sister works as a zookeeper), as well as a wealth of other opportunities. None of these is more than 20 minutes away, some are even walkable. Only a little further away are the metropolitan centers of Charleston, Charlotte, and Atlanta. Our future child will have ready access to the best our region has to offer!

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In closing

We hope that this has given you a picture of who we are as a family and why we can’t wait to welcome a child and continue to grow together.