Thanks for taking the time to consider our letter. That’s John in the blue shirt, and Mike in the red. We really admire your strength and devotion in choosing adoption. Here’s a bit about us. If we sound like the kind of family you’d like to consider, we’d be honored.

Our Story

We’ve been together seven years. We met online, a dating site like match.com, but before that was around. Our first date was coffee. The next was dancing. Then a movie (Gladiator). Pretty soon we were just really in love. We moved in together, got domestic partnered (as married as you can get in California) and started a life together. Honestly, we didn’t really have any ups and downs. It’s been pretty smooth sailing from the start.

Part of that is because our backgrounds were a lot alike. Both of us grew up in the Midwest, and our daily life in Los Angeles has remained pretty Midwestern. We don’t go to a lot of big parties, and are in bed by 11 most nights.  We have two dogs—pugs, like in Men in Black. John had his pug Jake for four years before he met Mike. Mike didn’t know that pugs were little dogs—he’d envisioned something like a husky. So he was relieved to see that Jake was small and very friendly. We added Louie to the family a year later. (They’re both rescue dogs.) They’re good with kids, but Louie in particular is a spaz, so we have to keep him from licking too much.

About Mike

Mike is 33 years old. He grew up in Columbus, Ohio— actually, a small town right on the edge of the city. He got a scholarship to go to Notre Dame, where he majored in French and Russian, and lived in France for a year.

He has an older brother, who’s married with a young son. Mike’s dad died this year, so he’s been traveling back to Ohio a lot, helping his mom sort things out. He and John have traveled back to Ohio for the holidays several times. (He made John a chart to help him remember the dozens of cousins.)

Mike used to work for AMC, the movie theatre chain. Then he got his master’s degree in business administration. Since our daughter Amy was born, he’s been a full-time daddy, with no regrets. He speaks three languages and has traveled everywhere, but he’s always eager to travel more. He loves Baja Fresh burritos and reality TV. Like the perfect party host, he wants to make sure people are happy. Wherever there’s a bored baby in a stroller, Mike will be there, making faces to keep the kid entertained. He is the organizer and planner of the family, making sure we get to the airport on time, with Cheerios ready for snacktime.

About John

John is 37. He grew up in Boulder, Colorado. His dad worked for AT&T (so did Mike’s, strangely enough), while his mom taught English as a second language at the high school.
He went to college in Iowa, where he got a degree in advertising. In 1992, he moved to Los Angeles to get his master’s degree in film production from USC.

John’s dad passed away in 1991, but his mom found herself a huge group of friends through her church choir. John’s brother and sister-and-law live nearby in Arvada, and have a 13-year old son who’s terrific.

John works in the film industry as a writer and director. His work keeps him busy, but he’s never far away—his office is out back, over the garage. John was a Boy Scout, and loves to play outside with Amy, whether it’s exploring in the backyard or going to visit the neighbors. He also handles a lot of the cooking, and bath duty. Like Mike, he also loves reality TV, but also enjoys comic books and computers.

Yup, we’re dads

We have a two year-old daughter, Amy. Becoming parents had always a goal for each of us. In fact, the topic of children came up on our fourth date (at a screening of Disney’s Dinosaur).  We had Amy by surrogacy. She’s been an unbelievably great addition to our lives. Every day, every milestone, every strange toddler tantrum, we’re so happy to be parents. We’re ready to do it again. The process of having Amy, and working with our surrogate Katrina, was terrific. So, why adoption this time? Well, one side benefit of having a kid is that you get to know a lot of other parents. Many of our parent friends came to have their children through adoption, with great success, and that’s how we’d like to do it this time.

We’ve talked about what we’ll say to our kids when they ask about their birth. What’s most important isn’t the “how,” but the “why.” Basically: “We really wanted to have you in our family. And we were so happy when you came.”

Our home

We live in an older section of Los Angeles—our house was built in 1926. We love our street: big trees, friendly neighbors, and not a lot of cars. We have a big yard with a playset and a vegetable garden.

Our neighbors are great. A few are retired and have lived on the block for 50 years (one was an opera singer), while others have young kids. It’s nice to be able to walk to the park and see the same families each time.

We’re lucky that the public elementary school is just two blocks away, and is one of the best ones in Los Angeles. It has a very diverse student body, and really good test scores. There are other two-dad families at the school, so we won’t be breaking any new ground there.

We love life in Los Angeles, but we also love to travel. We think it’s important to get a sense of how big (and how small) the world is, even if most of a kid’s early trips are back to see the grandparents in Colorado and Ohio.

As parents

We love being parents. We love how each kid is unique, with special gifts and challenges. We’re looking forward to going through the adventure twice, letting each of our kids become whoever they were meant to be. Our role is to offer guidance, support, safety to explore, and most of all unconditional love.

In terms of parenting style, we don’t consider ourselves super-parents. We don’t stress out about every little thing. We go to the zoo a lot. We go out for breakfast almost every Saturday. We try to keep the TV off, so instead we read a lot of books, and sing a lot of songs. John picked up a ukelele in Hawaii, so now he’s learned to play along. We have kids over for playdates two or three times a week, which is great for teaching how to share and get along.

Neither of us is particularly religious. We think it’s important to expose kids to a range of religious and cultural traditions, but we’re not big church-goers.

Picking us 

You’re looking at a lot of other profiles, and it’s probably kind of overwhelming. As you’re making your decision, here are some things to remember about us:

• We’re good at the parenting thing. We’ve done it for two years, and love it.

• Our family is already non-traditional. Down the road, there’s not going to be any secret or shame about having been adopted. We’re really open.

• We’re pretty laid-back. We like to have fun. We want our kids to be able to explore the world on their own terms, and their own schedule.

• Our families are incredibly supportive. They love being grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

Thanks

Thank you for taking the time to get to know us, even briefly.  We’d love to get to know you, too.

We know you’re facing a big decision, and wish you strength and happiness. We hope this can be a very positive event in your life.

If we seem like the kind of couple you’d like to consider—or if you have any questions about us —you can call your adoption counselor at AdoptHelp toll-free at 1-800-637-7999.

All our best,

John and Mike