Dear Birth Mother,

As you read this letter and look through the pages I have created for you about my life and the life I want to offer to your child, there will hopefully be something special about me that will draw you to me, and you will know.  Just like the moment I knew that my own attempts to have a biological child were not my destiny.  Suddenly I realized that the beautiful child I was to raise would come to me in another way, and after years of struggle, I was calm and peaceful.  When you find me, hopefully I will bring the same calm and peacefulness to you too, knowing that we both have the same intention at heart: to create the best possible life for the child you are carrying.

My name is Stacey.  I realized I wanted a child to love when I had a brief health scare several years ago (completely a false alarm).  The one thing I kept thinking was that I may leave this world without experiencing the pure wonder of being a parent.  And when I got a clean bill of health, I set off to make that dream a reality.  I remember one fertility specialist telling me, “if you really want to be a mom, don’t focus on how you get there, focus on the end result…..finding that special child to love.”  That was the best advice I have received in this journey, and was what carried me through fertility challenges and got me to this glorious point, where I am so excited to find the baby I was meant to love and raise.     
I was born to and raised by two incredible people, my parents (still happily married) who to this day, out of all the people I have met in this world, are the most incredible people I know. (I am excited to share them with a special little child….they are incredible grandparents.)  My childhood in Southern California was loving, warm, full of friends and a big extended family (my mother is Croatian…more on that later).  My sister and I went to public school and grew into bright young women (at least we think so!) who were encouraged to continue our education.  I graduated from UCLA and have been in the field I studied, Mass Communications, ever since as a public relations professional.   We were raised Catholic, and although I do not practice Catholicism today, I have a very strong sense of personal spirituality that has gotten me through the joys and challenges of my life and is a very important part of who I am.    I embrace different cultures, religions and points of view, and have traveled to many parts of the country, and to other countries (more on that later too), always fascinated by the rich lives I find in other parts of the country and the world. 

I was married once.  My ex-husband and I were together for 16 years and had a very, very loving relationship during the time we were together.  He is a wonderful man and we are still friends.  I believe in and loved being married, and would like to commit to the right person again someday, as long as it is the ideal thing to do for my child and is a loving match for both of us. 

I own my townhouse and, last summer, turned the loft into a complete room (full walls and a door, plus its own bathroom) that is slowly becoming the nursery (my sister has given me a bassinette, infant car seat and bags of clothes that her two girls have outgrown already.  My mom is an interior designer and cannot wait for the word “go” from me so she can start decorating). 

I recently started my own business expressly for the purpose of having the flexibility and financial stability to spend as much time with my child as I can.    In addition, my sister, who is a stay-at-home mom with a 2 year old and a 6-month-old (whom I adore, more on them later too) and who lives 5 minutes away with my-brother-in law, and my mom and dad, who live 20 minutes away and who babysit for my nieces several times a week, will all be part of my extended support network as a single mom.  I picture my nieces and my child all running around my house (or my parents’  or my sister and brother-in-law’s), shrieking, laughing, and just being kids, breathless and sweaty with messy hair, as my dog Raymond and my sister’s dog Tess trot along side, enjoying the fun and watching out for them.  I cannot wait for that day…

When I do go back to work after a parental leave, I will be able to work at home and even though I will have childcare, it will be in my own home and I will be able to take breaks and be at home as often as I can.  I know I will make a few mistakes (ok, maybe more!) and be flustered from time to time as I am only human, but, one look at that little face, and the rest of the world will fade away and I will find my center again, take a deep breath, maybe even laugh, and carry on, just the two of us.
I have experienced many things in my life...a happy childhood, a solid education, a wonderful marriage, a warm and loving family, friends who would do anything for me, a glorious career, travel, and a generally good life.  Having had all of that, I am ready for a whole new life, one where I can bring the joys of all I have to a special little child, to guide them through the world and share my family and friends with them.  To give everything I have, and more.  To love them for who they are and allow them to flourish into whomever they want to be.

I am so thankful to you for taking the time to read my letter and to learn a little about me.  I am astounded by your courage, selflessness, and the tremendous love you have for your child.  I hope you find that something special in me that you are looking for and that I am fortunate enough to meet you.  When and if we do, I think we’ll just know in our hearts if we are the right match. And we can start to work together toward the thing we both want most in this world: to create the best possible life for your precious baby.

If you have any questions or would like to speak with me, please contact your adoption advisor at AdoptHelp by calling 1-800-637-7999.

With great love and respect,
Stacey  

Being An Aunt
Being an aunt has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.   First came Christopher David, now age10.  I spent so much time with this joyful child, who is not only my nephew, but my godson as well.  He is one of the primary reasons I decided I wanted to have kids.     I love him so much, I can only imagine how much I will love my own baby.
Then two years ago came my only sibling, my younger sister Kelly’s, first child, Kennedy Anne.   Oh my.   The wonder of who she was to become made every day exciting.  Her spunk, humor, chubby little legs and the way she says “Auntie Stacey!” make every moment worth looking forward to.
Then came Kennedy’s baby sister, Audrey Paige, just six months ago.  What a sweet, gentle, easy baby…with a smile that lights up a room.      Oh what fun I am going to have with these little munchkins in the years to come!   They make my heart overflow with love every day.

My Best Friends, The Eikes
I met Wendy when we were teen agers, and have been best friends ever since.    When she met and married Mark, he already had two adorable children, Kirsten (4) and Kevin (2). The four of them became a constant fixture in my life, and Kirsten and Kevin were even in my wedding in 1995.  Today they are 18 and 16 respectively – my how time flies!    Then eight years ago, Mark and Wendy had Katherine Rose (Katie), and I was asked and honored to be her godmother.  I love the Eikes with all my heart! 

My Friends
“Your friend is the one who knows all about you, and still likes you.” -- Elbert Hubbard
These are the most wonderful people I know.  They have been with me through great joy and great sorrow and have never left my side.  They love me for who I am and would do anything to make sure I am happy.  My baby girl will have so many wonderful aunties and uncles (and willing and able babysitters!)she will be lifted up by so much love.  This is my “village”….the group of people who will help me raise my daughter, from childhood friends to high school friends, to family friends who knew me as a little girl, to neighbors and people I have met and grown to love in recent years.  They have heard me talk about wanting to be a mom for ages now, and will be just as excited to meet my little girl as I am.    

My Roots
I am very proud of my rich and colorful ethnic background. My grandfather, Sam, was born and raised in Croatia (formerly Yugoslavia) and came to the United States, alone, when he was 14 years old.  From virtually nothing, he created a rich and wonderful  life for himself, my grandmother Anne (also Croatian), my mother and her brother (my Uncle Sam).  So much of my childhood and my life today has and is influenced by my huge and loving family, filled with aunts, uncles, cousins, and great aunts and uncles.   At my wedding, we had a special candle lighting ceremony for my grandparents who had since passed away, and the whole service was dedicated to them. My Barba (Uncle) Dominic said a prayer in Croatian before dinner, and we danced the Kolo, our national dance, long into the night.

Last year I was lucky enough to travel with my parents, aunt and uncle and second cousins to Croatia for  the first time, to the tiny island of Dugi Otok off the coast of Zadar. It was the trip of a lifetime, one I will never forget.
 I saw the house my grandfather was born in and went to mass in the church he was baptized in.     My sister, cousins and I now own a small piece of property there, and it is my dream to build a cottage on it, and all go over there every summer, so my little girl can also enjoy the warm and wonderful Croatian people and spend time with all of her cousins.

My Kitties
Oreo (15) and Snickers (or “Baby Kitty” as I have always called her, even though she is now 12), were my first official “kids.”  Both were adopted, Oreo from my best friend Wendy when she was about a year old, and Baby Kitty from a work friend of mine who found her in the bushes outside his house.  I remember taking Baby Kitty to the vet immediately after we found her. The vet  gave us a written recap of her visit, and in the comments section, it said  “what a sweet little  kitty.”  Even though she had only been mine for about an hour, I was so proud, I put that note on my refrigerator for about a month, like a child’s report card.
 The girls have continued to bring me lots of happiness over all of these years, and even managed to tolerate the introduction of Raymond about seven years ago.  Even though they still hiss and swat at crazy Ray from time to time, when he is asleep, I often find them quietly sneaking up to their brother  and giving him a little lick.  Even the kitties find him irresistible despite their better judgment!

My  Dog Raymond
How do you describe Raymond?  A big , huggable goofball, who licks everyone, loves every minute of every day, is gentle, funny (my nieces laugh just looking at him), loyal and downright lovable.  This dog has been my constant companion, best friend, source of non-stop entertainment, and travel buddy since adopting him at 10 weeks old.  He adores children, is patient, tolerant and sweet.  All the kids in the neighborhood adore “RayRay” and I know he is looking forward to having a little lady of his own to follow around the house, lick and play with.       He, and I, can’t wait for our family to grow.