Phil & Matt

Dear Birthmother,

As we join the great big blur of names and faces swirling through your head while you decide on the best family for your baby, we hope that these few pages will give you an idea of the type of guys we are and the type of fathers we could be for your child. In our 11 years together, we have put a lot of thought into starting a family, and we have learned what a brave, loving and trusting act it is for a woman to choose two people to be her child’s parents for life. We have been blessed with so much love and joy in our lives, but there is a special place that can only be filled by a child. We know that there is a baby out there waiting to be born into our family, and every night we look out the window and pray to God that that baby’s mother will find us soon. Maybe that mother is you. Thank you for giving us the chance to find out.

Our Story
We met in January of 2000, when we were both working for the Disney Channel in New York City. It was Matt’s first day on the job, and he was nice enough to open the door for Phil. If this had been a movie, he would have had Phil at ‘hello’. But this was real life, and it wasn’t exactly love at first sight: Matt thought Phil was too skinny, and Phil didn’t like Matt’s shirt and tie combo. Chalk it up to being young and superficial! We did develop a close friendship, though, and after a couple of months Matt asked Phil out on a first date. Five years later, while we were retracing the steps from that first date, Phil proposed to Matt on the steps of the theater where we’d seen a show. Little did he know that Matt was planning to pop the question that same night! We were married the following year in a beautiful ceremony on Cape Cod. Mother Nature blessed our union with buckets and buckets of rain, but everyone danced the night away under the tent and people still say it was their favorite wedding ever.

Returning to married life in New York City, we both knew that our next step was to have a baby. We also knew that this was tough to do in a place as crowded and expensive as Manhattan! So one year later we packed our bags for Massachusetts, where we’d both grown up and where we knew we’d have more space and fresh air to start a family. We saved our pennies and bought our first house together in an amazing city by the sea, just north of Boston. We are well on our way to living happily ever after. We live in a home and in a city that we love, and we’re surrounded by a strong network of family and friends. Everything is finally in place to make our biggest and most important dream come true: having a baby!

Phil On Matt
There are many words I can use to describe Matt – kind, generous, funny, handsome, smart, silly, serious – but none of them quite describe how special he is, and why I love him so much, and why he will make such an amazing dad. Matt cares about how other people feel, and goes out of his way to make his friends and family happy. He is very funny, but he doesn’t always know it. He can recite, from memory, just about every TV commercial jingle from 1978 to 1990. He is very modest about his dashing good looks, which have barely aged in eleven years (I’ve gotten used to needing to convince people that I’m the younger one!). Matt is one of the most creative people I know. I love hearing his latest ideas: whether it’s how to make our city a better place to live, or a new TV script he’s writing. Even as an Urban Planner, Matt has never lost his creativity and imagination, and he has never stopped dreaming. Matt is also one of the most easy-going and likeable guys I know. Everyone I have ever introduced to Matt has loved him, and I love looking across a crowded room at a social gathering and watching his effortless mingling. He knows a lot about a lot of different things, so he can talk to anyone about anything. Matt can also find his way anywhere with barely a map (I can’t find my way out of a doorway), AND point out twenty interesting things along the way. One of my favorite things to do is to go for a long walk with Matt and just talk.

Matt has helped me to learn what it truly means to love someone, but also to hold on to your own identity. He inspires me by always staying true to himself so that he can truly invest himself in us as a couple. Matt balances me: He can be serious when I’m being too silly, but also calm me down when I’m worrying too much. He reminds me to keep dreaming when I get bogged down by reality, but also to stay flexible when I get stuck in my own way of doing things. Since I met Matt I have loved watching him grow close with all the children in our life. He has grown from someone who was scared that he’d break a baby if he held it, to someone who is immediately drawn to kids and talks constantly about how he can’t wait to have one of his own. It makes me so happy to know that I will spend my life with him, and so excited to finally become a father with him.

Matt On Phil
Phil is so many things to me that it is impossible to fully convey in words how I feel about him. He has all the traits I’ve always dreamed of in a partner - he’s loyal, nurturing, smart, extremely handsome, etc - but what I love most about him is that he is truly and uniquely himself, a person with wonderfully different but complimentary sides that come together to form the amazing, whole, and loving person I share my life with. Phil is not only one of the funniest people I have ever known, but also one of the most compassionate and caring. When Phil walks into a room, the mood instantly lightens. No one can make a room laugh like him. He possesses that rare personality that is not only easygoing, but also a little outrageous and wonderfully sarcastic. Yet he is also extremely caring and observant, the first person to come to a person’s aid when in need, whether it be a dear friend or a perfect stranger. That is when his sense of humor comes back into play: he just knows how to set people at ease, talk them through tough times, but also make them laugh in the end. I think this is why he is such an amazing social worker, and why he’s able to do such good work with very sick patients and their families.

Phil is unbelievably driven and focused, but never loses sight of what is most important to him: family. He knows how to balance his life brilliantly. He has completed a Masters in Social Work, he is halfway finished with his PhD, and he has worked at world-renowned hospitals, yet he’s always there for me, his friends and his family. We are always his priority. I literally have no idea how he manages to accomplish so many things professionally, and still be so devoted. Being a father has always been Phil’s dream (he even took me to an adoption seminar the second month we were together – talk about a bold thing to do when first dating!). He simply adores children, and they him. He’s even referred to as “Papa Phil” by some of our friends with children, because their kids are so drawn to him. I love this about him, and I can’t wait to be a father alongside him. I could go on and on, but simply put: I adore Phil, and feel like I’m the luckiest person to have him not only as my husband but also my best friend. There is nobody in the world more loving and loyal, hilarious and humble. And I know he will be the greatest dad.

Our Family and Friends
Our family and our friends are two of the most important things in our lives. Phil is the youngest of seven – Joe, Molly, Cathi, Bob, Michael and Tim are the other six – and has been adding new nieces and nephews since he was thirteen years old. Being the baby of the family may have spoiled Phil just a little bit, but it also gave him his ability to feel comfortable in a crowd, not to mention his sense of humor: you had to be funny if you wanted to keep up with the conversation at that dinner table! Phil still has vivid memories of his family taking up an entire pew at church every Sunday, karaoke contests on Christmas Eve, seven kids stuffed into a station wagon to visit Gramma in Buffalo every summer, and of course the thousands of hilarious dinner table conversations. Even today, some of his favorite moments are sitting around the table with his family and cracking each other up. Phil’s family gets together whenever they can and keep the laughs going via telephone and email in the meantime. It’s not easy to get all seven kids in the same place at the same time, but they did it just last summer for a family photo and barbecue. Imagine the photographer’s surprise when all 40 of us showed up!

Matt is the middle of three children, and is lucky to live less than an hour away from his mom and dad, who have always been extremely loving and supportive parents. Matt sees his family all the time and wouldn’t have it any other way. Whether taking simple day trips to his parents’ in NH, spending holidays with his large extended family (there are lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins too), hosting family dinners at home, or going on family trips to places like Nantucket, family time is important. Matt is very close to both of his siblings. He sees his younger sister (and best friend) weekly. She lives just 20 minutes away with her wife and newborn baby boy. They are so excited that their kids will grow up together. Even though his older brother lives in Colorado with his wife and two amazing boys, they see each other as often as they can. Matt even took a trip to Colorado recently to visit them, where he spent hours playing baseball, swimming, and running around the yard with the boys. Both sides of the family are excited to add a new member to the crew. They can’t wait for Matt and Phil to be fathers!

Like the song says, we get by with a little help from our friends – or a lot! Alone time is nice, and ‘date nights’ are a must, but we also spend a lot of time with our pals. We are blessed with a diverse group of friends with a wide range of talents and personalities, and from all different periods of our life. Some are close by and others are far away; some are married and others are happily living the single life. Each one brings a unique gift to our lives and one day they’ll play a unique role in your child’s life as well. It feels like every other day one of us is saying to the other with a giant smile, “Honey, I love our friends! How did we make such great friends??” Our friends are an extension of our family. We’ve even created a monthly Sunday Supper Club, where we all take turns hosting and coming up with a theme, like Pirate night, Mystery night, and Foods That Come On A Stick! Since moving to our new city, we’ve also made some great friends right here at home. We love being able to walk to one another’s houses for dinner or hop in the car for group beach trips. We can’t wait to host barbecues all summer in our new yard.

As some of our friends have started families, we’ve loved watching how they incorporate their kids into their social lives rather than falling off the face of the planet. That’s one lesson we’ve both learned from our own parents as well: we want our child to have routines just like everyone else, but we also want him or her to grow up surrounded by friends, learning social skills and having fun, whether it’s at a restaurant, a backyard barbecue or just standing around the kitchen with family. Our friends have been waiting for us to become dads for a long time, and it makes us happy to know your child will grow up surrounded by so many extra aunts and uncles!

Our Home
We love our home. It’s everything we ever dreamed about, but there’s just one thing missing: a baby! When we were looking to buy a house, we knew we wanted something that was a little too big for just the two of us because we knew we’d be adding a child to the mix before too long. We wanted a place where our kids would love to grow up – where they’d have a yard to play in, parks and beaches nearby (we love the ocean!), and lots of other kids to play with. We found our dream home in an historic seaside town where everything our family could ever need is right around the corner. We’ve put a lot of love into our big old home, and as our family grows, our house will grow along with it. We are already imagining our kids holding onto the big banister as they come down the stairs on Christmas morning, or building a pretend house or fort in one of the kid-sized nooks on the third floor. Our town is a wonderful, friendly, altogether amazing place to live. We joke that the mayor should hire us to be the Welcome Committee, we love it so much! No matter what time of year, there’s always something fun for families to do: a Spring festival for kids on our town Common, concerts and fireworks on the 4th of July, a kids parade at Halloween, and visits from Santa Claus at the big inn downtown. We have two new playgrounds plus the giant town common within a block of our house, where kids from all backgrounds play together. It’s an amazing sight to see. We know your child will love living here just as much as we do!

A Little More About Us
Who were those guys??
Phil is the one everyone wants to dance with at a wedding, Matt’s the one they want to sit and have an interesting conversation with.

C is for Cooking
Matt will teach your child how to make the tomato sauce he’s perfected over the years, Phil will teach your child how to make that crazy new cookie recipe he found online (and maybe they’ll use measuring cups). Family recipes just waiting to happen: Matt’s tomato sauce and chicken cutlets, Phil’s soups and linguine with clam sauce.

Are We There Yet?
On our long car rides, Matt will teach your child all about the city we’re driving through, Phil will teach your child how to dance to top-40 music from a seated position.

Stupid Dad Tricks
Matt can cross one eye at a time, Phil can make his eyeballs wiggle.

Bringing our work home with us
Matt’s career as an urban planner will help your child to understand the world around us, Phil’s career as a clinical social worker will help your child to understand the world inside of us.

Lifestyles of the (not quite) Rich & Famous
When we met, Phil was the lead singer in a rock and roll band, and Matt had just moved back from Los Angeles, where he’s worked as an assistant to lots of movie stars!

Phil & Matt

If you have an questions for us, or would like to talk to us about adopting your child, please contact an AdoptHelp advisor by Calling 1-800-637-7999 or clicking the "Contact Us" button below.

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