Hello. My name is Josephine. I am a birth mother and I recently placed my baby for adoption.
When I found out I was four months pregnant, I was devastated. This news was not good news in my situation. I became instantly confused, angry and scared. I kept repeating to myself, “Why me? How could this happen? What will I do?”
After all of the denial, reality set in. I needed to make an important decision. Nobody knew I was pregnant, except my boyfriend and me. I thought about terminating the pregnancy. But as soon as that came to mind, I rolled into tears. I could not take a life just to make mine better. You see, I have two beautiful children. I could barely meet their needs.
A month went by and I knew I didn’t have much time left. I was starting to show and I needed a plan for the future of this unborn child and for myself. I was alone one day, going over everything aloud in my mind. I knew this was the best decision I could make and would most benefit this child.
I needed to determine whether to have an open adoption or closed adoption. Everyone has different feelings about this subject. Whichever one you feel comfortable with is the right one. I felt that an open adoption would be the best way for me to go because I wanted to meet the adoptive parents.
Once I was sure of my decision to place, it was time to pick the adoptive parents. The first couple I saw, I knew they were the perfect mommy and daddy for this little one.
Time has passed and I have made it through the healing period. I’m meeting the goals I made while pregnant. I can honestly say “I did the right thing.” I’m happy and I am moving on. Most of all I will always remember the joy on my adoptive parents’ faces when their dreams of having a child finally came true.
In this journey, keep in mind you are not giving up a child. Instead, you are giving a gift! An awesome gift of “Life” to people who are missing the one thing that only you and I can give.
Not so long ago, I sat in your exact situation, I was scared and confused and not quite sure of what my future held. I am going to tell my story, so maybe I can help you in your process. Know that you aren’t alone in this journey! My experience at AdoptHelp and with adoption in general was an amazing one! I learned more about myself than I could have ever imagined, and I did it with a smile. So this is my story, one full of hope, love and smiles. I hope it helps you to make the right choice for you! Just know you’re not alone, and the people at AdoptHelp are amazing people who have hearts of gold.
My journey began when I found out I was pregnant and I didn’t exactly know what to do, but I knew I wasn’t going to take the easy way out! I decided to do an online search, thinking to myself, “I’ll just check it out, there’s nothing wrong with that”
After about 12 different sites, I found AdoptHelp. After reading EVERYTHING the site had to offer, I sat there mesmerized by the life one of these couples could provide, the life I knew I couldn’t. I read all the info, then after a couple of hours, I decided to call the 24 hour number at the bottom of the page. When Michelle answered the phone at midnight, I talked to her for about an hour. She made me feel ok with the thoughts that were going thru my head, she told me that adoption is the most unselfish thing anyone could do and that putting my baby’s needs before mine was never a bad thing. She said she would set me up with a case worker, and they would contact me soon.
All the thoughts running through my mind. “If I do this, will my family disown me?” “One day will my baby know that I loved him so much, that I choose the life for him I know he deserved?” “Will he hate me?”
When I talked to my case worker we discussed my situation and what I thought about it. We talked about my goals and morals in life, and how growing up would be for the baby, if I chose to keep him. She became my best friend and my rock. I could call her if I needed anything. She was always there for me! After a lot of talking, I knew that adoption would be the best for my situation at the time. Being a single mother, trying to finish school, work, and still trying to provide the life I felt my baby deserved seemed as far away as impossible. So I chose adoption.
It took me a couple weeks to figure out how I was going to tell my family. I was WAY too emotional and just wanted to wake up from the dream I felt I was living. After telling my family that I was prego and that I chose adoption… I explained why… trying to fight the tears, I poured my heart out to the ones I hoped would support me the most. The room was silent for quite a while, then my grandfather (the leader of the pack) walked up to me and just held me, a hug I will never forget… he told me that he was so proud of me for making the right choice.
At that moment, I didn’t care what anyone else thought. My grandpa, the man I admired the most in life, told me how proud he was! With that off my chest, I started thinking about the real deal at hand. What did I want my son’s parents to be like? How did I want him to be raised? What would they look like? How would they be? WHO WERE THEY??!!?!?
After going through about 12 packets, my heart kept telling me that Tom and Heidi were a gift from God!! I chose them because they were able to provide the life that I knew I wanted for him. When Tom called me that first night I had prepared myself for a very tough conversation. But as soon as I heard the voice on the other end of the phone my heart was at ease and I knew everything was going to be ok! When I got off the phone I just laid on the couch and smiled, not a tear! I felt ok, and I couldn’t wait to talk to the woman that would be my son’s mother! She was so concerned about me and all life was handing me and she actually became more than just his mother, she became my friend. I chose to move to Los Angeles when I was 6 months along. I had butterflies with 12-foot wings inside my stomach.., that and a baby… man, I felt almost seasick! Our journey from there was amazing. We went to dinners, doctor appointments, and the movies.
After months of anticipation, D-day was finally here. We went in at noon to get induced. They didn’t leave my side. By 8:34 that night, we had a 7lb 3oz, little boy… our bundle of love. I was doing ok and I got to watch them with Jack. I saw them love him, hold him and, most of all, take care of him! I spent as much time as I could with Jack as well. I told him to listen to my heartbeat, because my heart will always have the most amount of love in it, just for him. I told him that I would always love him.
Saying goodbye to Jack wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated! I kissed his little forehead; told him goodbye and that I loved him. But the hardest goodbyes were yet to come: Saying goodbye to Heidi, she held me in her arms and told me how much she loved me and how thankful she was! She told me that she will do her best, and not to worry about them because they would be ok!
When it came time to hug Tom (the man who tried not to develop a deep relationship with me in fear of being hurt) I broke down. He held me so tight and just thanked me with all his being. He was crying so hard, telling me how much he loved me and that I’m his angel!
Rolling out of the hospital the nurse that had just witnessed our goodbye was crying. She stopped my wheelchair in the hallway right outside the doors and got in front of me. She said, “You are the most amazing girl I have ever met; God has a special place in heaven just for you.” I gave her the biggest hug, and thanked her so much!
It’s been quite some time now and things are good. My situation is perfect, my story is amazing and I’ve become a better person in this walk of life. I will always be thankful for AdoptHelp. They erased my worst fears! And helped me make the best out of a hard situation! I love them! Love, Jodi
It is four weeks ago today that my son was born and it is with a great deal of peace and relief that I write this letter to you. How lucky are we to be in America, in the 21st century, where an option like this even exists?
Well, I can tell you that eight months ago, I did not see the light at the end of the tunnel, nor could I fathom how I was going to handle this crisis pregnancy. When I was five months along, after a considerable amount of research, I came upon AdoptHelp’s website & knew immediately that this was a fit for me. Within 24 hours of contacting AdoptHelp, I had a FedEx of all the paperwork and a good understanding of the process from my case worker. That same week I received a package of profiles to look through and that is when I was finally able to breathe easy. Looking back at me were the faces and words of people with the honest desire to give my son what I could not.
Being the oldest of four myself, I am very aware of what the realities of raising a child entail. And I am certain that, at 26 years of age, I possess neither the financial nor the emotional stability to give my son the life that I want for him. That life comes from Isabel, his adoptive mom.
I cannot convey in written words the experience of reading Isabel’s profile, our first phone conversation, or our two day adventure that same week when she flew out to meet me. The connection between the two of us was instant and electric. Isabel is a citizen of the world, an artist and philanthropist and speaks seven languages. What more could a girl ask for? With Love, Nicholle
Hello let me start off by introducing myself; my name is Karen, I am 20 years old and I placed my new born for adoption.
For me going through with this adoption was probably the hardest thing I had to do in my life. The reason for this was because I have always dreamed about having a daughter and what it would be like to dress her, play with her and give her the mother daughter relationship I was never able to share with my mother. I also am a single mother and was barely providing for my son who is one year old and who I love with all my heart.
One of my biggest fears was that my daughter was going to hate me when she was older but I hoped the family was going to make her happy and give her a good life. Thanks to AdoptHelp I got to meet the adoptive parents, they turned out to be a great family and I know my daughter is in good hands. In fact the adoptive parents took me to all the doctor appointments and they were there for the delivery.
I believe that the hardest part for me was saying goodbye. When I first laid eyes on my daughter I cried. I kissed her head and asked her to forgive me. At that time I wanted to get off the hospital bed and run out with her to start a new life but then reality hit me. It was time for my goodbyes and time for her to go with her new family to start her life. And it was time for me to be strong and think of my daughter. I could not put her through the pain I live in. I said goodbye, not forever but just for now.
It is now two weeks since I placed my baby for adoption. Yes I do miss her terribly but there is no doubt in my mind that what I did was the best thing to do.
To all you birth mothers who are having second thoughts, take it from me sometimes it is the best thing to do. Don’t think of it as giving your child away, see it as giving your child a new life and a chance to be somebody in life.
I am a 30 year old mother of 4 beautiful children and when I found out I was pregnant with my fifth baby I was in total denial but, as the months went by, reality hit. I realized that I didn’t want, need and could not afford a new addition to our family.
Raising kids is a hard job and I struggle every day, financially and emotionally. It wouldn’t be fair to a new baby, myself or my other children. So I got out the Yellow Pages and started calling adoption agencies. It was the most difficult task of my life. Every time I looked at one of my kids my heart hurt, I wondered if I was doing the right thing.
Once I chose AdoptHelp and I looked over all the profiles of families, I knew as soon as I saw this one profile that I found my adoptive family. It wasn’t what I read about them so much as what I saw in their eyes. They were filled with love and hope, almost like a hunger. And that is what made me have a clear conscience with no guilt and no regrets.
Because they lived out of state and I was due soon, I wasn’t able to meet with them but we talked a few times. I could hear the nervousness in their voices and they sounded like such carefree and happy people. It gave me a peaceful feeling, I was so sure they were the ones!
When the day I delivered finally arrived, my daughter’s adoptive parents, Leslie and Alicia, flew in immediately. As they came in the room, I could see them looking at the baby with so much love. I may not have been taking home a baby, but there was not one ounce of regret, worry, or unhappiness, because I knew my daughter was so loved by two really wonderful women! Love, Erin
Hi. My name is Stacey. I recently had a baby girl Addison Grace, named by her parents. When I first found out I was pregnant I didn’t know what I was going to do. I was living in a homeless shelter and was just about to start my college courses. I had no money saved and was and still am, very unstable.
I couldn’t imagine having a baby and having to worry about if she was being taken care of while I was at school or whether she would have to miss meals because I didn’t have any money. Will she have clean clothes or diapers? Will she be warm at night? I would rather know without a doubt that all these questions are not a factor for her adopted family. AdoptHelp makes sure their families are all that a family should be.
I will always be grateful to the adoptive parents for providing a better life for my baby. I believe you are a strong and wonderful woman for letting your unborn child have a better life than you can give, with a family that’s been saving and waiting to have a baby that they can spoil and give the world to. You know what’s best for you. Adoption was the biggest blessing I’ve had in my whole lifetime. You won’t regret giving your baby to a family that’s been waiting. Stay strong and beautiful. AdoptHelp is there to help and they have the greatest people to talk to. God Bless.
Women Share Their Reasons For Placing
Placing my child for adoption was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I did it because I love my daughter and I want her to have a loving, stable home with parents who are prepared and able to give her everything she could ever want or need. I know that I am not able to give her the life she deserves, even though I really wish things were different. My own family was very unstable when I was growing up so I know how destructive it can be. I did this for her, so she could have the best chance at being happy.
To be totally honest, I am not ready to be a parent. I want this child to have a better life than I ever had. I am not in a good place right now and have problems that I have not dealt with yet. I don’t want my child to have to struggle. For me, adoption is a way to break through all of the strife and problems that seem to follow me so they do not follow the baby. I will always be proud of what I did and think of adoption as a heroic and selfless act that wonderfully impacts an innocent life.
I had a wonderful childhood and was blessed with amazing parents. I was adopted and know what a gift a loving and stable childhood is. I will forever be grateful to my birth parents for giving me such a wonderful life. I feel that I am too young and not ready to be a parent. I want the best for my baby just as my birth parents wanted for me. I hold the highest hope for my baby boy.
I know I am not ready for a baby and know that I couldn’t give a baby everything I would want to give him. I have so many plans for the future like going to college and getting a steady job. I know I won’t be able to be with the baby as much as the baby will need. I know that some time in the future I will raise children but, for now, I want what is best for the baby and me.
I currently have two children and we struggle as it is with bills, barely getting by. I love my children and do not think we could make it with another child. I have to be fair to the children I have while being fair to the baby I am carrying. As hard as it is, I feel that adoption is the best choice for everyone involved.
I am in a relationship with a wonderful guy who is not the father of the baby. He is supportive of my decision to place the baby for adoption. I make no judgments about the other alternatives to unplanned pregnancy but just don’t feel that they are right for me. I consider myself a vessel who is bringing this baby into the world for a wonderful loving couple who cannot have a baby.
My pregnancy was the result of non-consensual sex. This makes raising this precious baby too difficult for me. I feel that there are good people in this world who want but are unable to have children. I can’t think of a greater gift than that of a child.
I am 47 years old and have been married for 15 years. I didn’t think that I could get pregnant given my age. My husband and I are not in a place in our life were we want to begin parenting a child. We also do not feel comfortable having family members raise the baby. When I found out I was pregnant, I was already in the beginning of my seventh month so I turned to adoption. My husband and I feel equally at peace with our decision.
My pregnancy was unplanned. I am no longer in a relationship or even in contact with the birth father and I never want any of my children to be raised without a father. I also want to be married and not living at home with parents when I decide to raise a family. I don’t have the money to raise a child right now. I also want to finish school and other life goals I have before having a child. Adoption was the perfect choice for me.
“I want to say thank you to you and your staff for making all of this as easy as possible for me! Y'all have been great to me. I can't say thank you enough. - Birth Mother