Hello! We are Lily and Ben and our son, Desi. Thank you so much for taking the time to get to know us. Before we share more about ourselves, we’d like to tell you what deep respect and gratitude we have for your decision to consider adoption. Even though we can't know what you're going through, we can imagine that considering adoption hasn't been easy. It's a path that shows an incredible amount of love and we will always be extremely grateful for you. We are excited to grow our family and to share a little bit about our lives with you. If you connect with anything you see or read here, we would love to meet you, but please know that we wish you all the best wherever your journey takes you!
Dear Birth Mother...
We met 25 years ago in college when our school ran out of student housing and had to put us up in a hotel for the year. We lived two doors down from each other and instantly connected. We remained friends for several years before we starting dating after Lily moved back east for graduate school.
Our whole courtship and engagement was long distance (Ben was in LA and Lily in Philadelphia) and it was during this time that we built the communication that has become a foundation of our relationship. We were married in Lily's hometown in Maryland, then we packed up all of Lily's things in her car and drove cross country to live together for the first time as a husband and wife. Looking back, this all seems crazy to us!
We have always wanted to be parents and raise children together. After years of unsuccessfully trying to start a biological family, we knew adoption was how we were always meant to create our family.
- Christmas cookie baking and movie marathon
- Annual East Coast beach trip with Lily's family
- Family dinners
- Sunday farmer's market
- Treat or Treating with family friends
Lily is an extroverted introvert. She loves spending time with people and is energized by it but also loves quiet time to reset and reflect. She is very playful and loves to laugh. She comes from a very playful family and it's always a good time when we are all together.
She has always loved children and started babysitting and nannying at a young age. Lily loves creating fun arts and crafts projects and going on nature adventures with Desi.
Lily is a full time stay at home mom. She had a psychotherapy private practice that she recently closed to spend more time with our son and prepare for another baby. She has always been passionate about helping others and learning about relationships and healthy development.
More About Lily, by Ben
Lily is the most genuinely kind and giving person. She is an extremely good listener and not just because she is a trained psychologist. At the core, Lily's personality is about listening and observing where people are, understanding what they need and practicing empathy. It's really a beautiful thing and the influence of these qualities on my life has been so positive. It makes her really easy to talk to about the “hard” stuff in life.
She also knows how to have a good time! I have had more fun and laughed harder with her than anyone else. She is playful and funny. All these things make her an amazing mom and it been such a gift to get to see her and Desi together.
Ben is an artist at heart, but also an incredibly hard worker. He often has a hard time staying still, but has learned a lot from Lily about how to just relax and be in the moment without worrying about the next thing on his to-do list. He makes a lot of to-do lists.
As a creative person, Ben was drawn to filmmaking from a very young age, and attended film school at USC. He works as a camera operator for film and television. His job is rewarding and satisfying.
Ben has always wanted to be a dad, and parenting Desi has given him a new sense of purpose in his life. He often finds himself looking around and being filled with gratitude for all the wonderful people and experiences that fill his life.
More About Ben, by Lily
Ben is my favorite person. He makes me smile and know that even when things are hard, it will all be okay. Because we’ve been friends since we were 18 years old, I’ve had the pleasure of seeing Ben grow and change into a man who has an amazing work ethic and is extremely responsible. He is a great provider. Ben’s job is freelance, so he is able to take time off whenever he wants to travel or spend more time at home. As a problem solver and resourceful person, if something is broken, he will dive in and figure out how to fix it. Ben is an artist and the craftiest person I’ve ever met. Whatever it is from ceramics to cooking, he is always learning and isn’t afraid of a challenge.
Watching ben father Desi has been one of the greatest pleasures of my life. He is so loving, patient and affectionate. He is present and loves to play with Desi. They love going on walks and exploring the neighborhood or beach. They always come home with some new treasure – a cool rock or flowers.
List of Favorites!
Favorite Coffee Order
Lily: Matcha Latte with Almond Milk
Ben: Black coffee
Lily: Reading and Yoga
Lily: Kauai, Hawaii
Ben: Florence, Italy
Ben: Hip Hop
Lily: Coffee/chocolate milkshake
Ben: Anything chocolate
Can’t Live Without
Lily: My Kindle
Ben: Good black coffee
Lily: Beach picnic with friends
Ben: Yoga, massage and spa
Favorite Place to Take Desi
Lily: The beach
Ben: On the train
Our Son, Desi
Desi was born in 2019. He is very curious and loves being in nature exploring. Desi loves animals, especially dogs. He is shy at first but warms up quickly and he loves to laugh and make other people laugh. He loves babies and is going to be an incredible big brother.
Desi’s Favorite Things: The beach, hiking, firetrucks, playing sports of all kinds, dancing and singing, and taking trips to Target!
A Day in the Life of Us
Saturdays are the best days in our house. We take turns sleeping in a little while the other gets up and fixes breakfast. We talk about what we'll do for the day. Beach day? Rollerskating? Playdate with friends?
Then we're off to have a morning adventure. Desi is a great sport, he can hike 3 miles all by himself! We might get brunch while we're out, but either way we'll head home for nap time and some time for the grown ups. We might work out or just sit on the front porch and talk.
When Desi is up it's time for a snack. We might do a craft project, but most likely we'll be off to the local park to get some swing time in. Next to the park is a library, so we'll return last week's books and get some new ones.
On any given evening, you can find us having dinner together. Ben experiments with new recipes and Desi helps. We love an after dinner dance party and we always have a good play list going. Or maybe we'll watch a family movie and read some books. One thing is for sure—everyone will get a good night's sleep.
Our Home & Pets
We own a home in central Los Angeles. Our neighborhood is vibrant and full of families with a park and a library just blocks away. We are conveniently located in the middle of everything - 10 minutes from downtown and 15 minutes from the beach. All of LA is our playground!
Our comfy bright home gives us plenty of room to grow. It's an old house (built in 1907! but the antique character fits us perfectly somehow. We love spending time in our big backyard playing games or just lounging on the deck with our dog. We're also lucky to live in such a walkable neighborhood and frequently walk to our local coffee shop or a nearby park, greeting our neighbors on the way.
Miles is our senior pug. He is hilarious and lovable. When we brought Desi home we weren't sure how he would react. He was so calm and sweet! He is very patient with Desi and loves giving him kisses, running through the house and snuggling.
What We Love About Our Community
- Walkable parks and library
- Awesome local soccer league
- Friendly neighbors
- Lots of cultural diversity
- Close to good schools
Our Loved Ones
While both our families live outside of California, we speak and Facetime with them weekly and get to visit several times a year. All of our parents are retired and they love to come visit and spend time with us. We’re both blessed to have been raised by our parents to value kindness, fairness, and respect for others and look forward to passing these values on. Lily has one older sister with two children and Ben has one brother and one sister who has 2 children. It's so fun to spend holidays or go on traveling adventures with them, and seeing all of the kids connect and play together. We both love having siblings and value our shared histories.
Because our families are far away, our friends have become our second families. Many of them have families of their own and we love being together and playing with their kids. We are so lucky to have an amazing village of family and friends that have also grown their families through adoption. We think it's important for Desi and any child that has been adopted to have friends that they can relate with as they get older and begin to explore their own identities.
We are strong believers in honoring the innate intelligence and individuality of children. We create safe situations where our son gets to practice making his own choices and express himself the way he wants.
We also believe the most important thing we can teach our children is empathy. Being able to understand how another person feels is the cornerstone of human connection, and in our view, this human connection enriches our lives like nothing else. We both have many things in our lives that excite and inspire us and we can't wait to share these with our children and see what ignites their passion!
We will be a family who sits down to family dinners together, who reads, laughs, cries, shares up and downs, cooks, plays, dances and sings at the top of our lungs and shows up for each other no matter what. We promise to create a safe, secure and loving home that provides structure and consistency and encourages creativity, empathy, learning and growth. We promise to show through our example the value of treating all people with respect, love, and kindness. We don't judge and we follow the Golden Rule. We promise that your child will grow up knowing their special adoption story and how much you love them.