Letter to Birth Mom
First off, we just want to acknowledge you for considering such a loving decision for your baby. The amount of strength and courage that you are showing is incredible. The fact that you are considering the gift of adoption for your baby speaks volumes about what a wonderful and caring person you are. In our hearts, we know our family is not complete and would love the opportunity to welcome a baby girl into our world. We hope our profile gives you a glimpse into our lives and the life that your baby will have. We look forward to talking with you more and giving you some peace in your soul that your baby will have a wonderful and love-filled life.
Our Love Story
We met in 2001 while working together at Vons grocery store but it was not until 2 years later that we began dating each other. Rob still talks about the first time he saw me and said he knew he was going to marry me. I can remember always wanting to be around him and finding all sorts of things to talk to him about. To this day, Rob carries a silver dollar in his shoe that I gave him as change at my register all those years ago! On a whim, my friends and I were heading to Las Vegas the summer of 2003 and I invited him to come along. To my surprise, he actually drove the 5 hours to see me in Vegas. From there, we were inseparable. We moved in together in 2005 to a quaint little apartment and were engaged by the end of that year. Rob proposed to me in the middle of our living room, down on one knee, saying “Don’t worry, it’s only forever”. We had an awesome and romantic wedding in 2007, where my brother Jason acted as the minister after being ordained online! People still talk about how fun our wedding was. We are hands down each other’s best friends. Not only do we love each other deeply, we actually like each other! There is no other person that we want to spend time with and still, to this day, we get excited to see each other. Growing our family has been the best experience we have shared together and one that has brought us even closer to each other (if that was possible!).
Why Adoption is Special to Me
In 1974, my parents placed their first born son for adoption. It wasn’t until 2001 that Jason was able to locate our father and learn that our parents stayed together and had four more children. My mother shared years of heartache in not knowing what happened to that baby boy and would often worry and think about him. When we started this journey of adoption, my mother was very happy to learn that things have changed so much over the years. My parents were never able to meet Jason’s adoptive parents or hold him in the hospital. I cannot imagine what my mother went through over the years wondering and worrying and the angst that must have caused her. It would bring me such joy to offer some peace to another birth mother in getting to know us and knowing that your baby will be well cared for and loved beyond belief. I think I also have a special understanding of what it is like to be part of the biological family. While I love and respect Jason’s adoptive family, I relished in the natural bond that we shared. Jason shared seven years as a member of our family before losing him sadly to cancer in 2008. I am forever grateful that we were given that time together and I have so many wonderful memories that I would never have had had he not found us.
All About Stacy
I was raised in Southern California and am part of a big, blended family. My parents divorced when I was about 8 years old and my stepfather has been a part of my life for 25+ years. Today, my mom and dad are great friends and we all share important events, holidays and BBQs all together as one family. I have four brothers, two stepbrothers and two stepsisters. There are 13 (and counting!) grandchildren, so our children always have a cousin to play with. We usually come together at my parents’ home where the kids run, swim and play. More than anything in the world I love being a Mom! I believe in spending as much time with my kids as possible and am always planning fun things for us to do as a family. I have a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and am licensed with the state of CA. I specialize in working with children and teens and work for a well-known hospital in the mental health department. I love what I do and find great satisfaction in helping kids and teens through tough times. Even though being a working Mom is busy, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I think I have taught my children that working and parenting roles are not gender specific and that education pays off. I am always talking about college with our children and encouraging them to do their best. I want to give my children the message that I was given by my mother; having an education affords you so many choices in life. I love going out to restaurants and relaxing with Rob in front of the TV at the end of a long, filled day. I believe there is not much that a soothing massage or a hot bath can’t fix and still find time to squeeze in a little spa time here and there. I love setting goals for myself and our family and believe that life is fluid; it’s always changing and growing. Part of me actually misses going to school and may go back one day. But for now, I’ll settle for the challenges of elementary school math!
About Stacy Through Rob’s Eyes
They say when you meet “The One” you’re supposed to be with the rest of your life, you know it. That was certainly true in my case when I saw Stacy. She has a quiet confidence about her. Not only does she think she can do anything, I really think she can. To me she has the best combination of beauty and brains ever put into one person. She kind of fell into the therapy field, but it suits her perfectly. She is sympathetic and strong at the same time. She’s great at helping people see that they are stronger than they think they are. That’s what she has done for me over the years. At times, when I’ve needed strength, she’s given it to me. She has made me believe I could do things that I might not have otherwise thought I could. I will spend the rest of my life trying to give back to her what she’s given to me. She has made me a better man.
All About Rob
I was born and raised in Southern California. I am the first generation from both sides of my family to be born in this country. I have an older sister. My sister became a teen mom at 17 years old, and I was 13 years old at the time. I have great memories of helping her with my niece as my sister finished night school and worked. I would come home from basketball or baseball practice and help watch my niece. It was great practice for caring for little ones! My parents are still married to this day (51 years and counting!) and help out 2 times a week with babysitting a job that they absolutely adore! Growing up I always had a knack for baseball and played all through high school and college. I was even lucky enough to play a little Semi-Pro baseball as well. I love cheering my boys on during their baseball games and helping out with practices. I’m a general manager for a restaurant, a job that I’ve had for the last 14 years. It’s a lot of fun and a lot of hard work. I learn a great deal about people since I work with the public. I absolutely love being a father. It feels to me like that’s what I was meant to do with my life. I work very hard to make sure my children know how much I love them and how much I want them to succeed in life. My favorite thing to do is to hang out with my family after a long day or just talk and listen to my wife. It helps keep me focused and grounded on what’s important and keeps me going each and every day.
Dineen is Rob’s adult daughter from a previous relationship. She grew up with her Mom, Stepdad and younger half-brother about an hour or so away. Rob and Dineen share a fun love for comic books, superheroes and sushi and always make a date for dinner and a movie! Dineen is wonderful at performing and really found her spot while participating in the ROTC program at her high school. She is looking forward to college and has hopes to join the Navy one day.
About Rob Through Stacy’s Eyes
I think what attracted me the most to Rob was his sense of humor and his ability to go with the flow. Nothing ever seems to bother him! I admire how hard he works and how dedicated he is to our family. I found that, working with him all those years ago, I respected him so much. As a boss, he has no problem helping out wherever is needed and would never ask something of his employees that he wasn’t willing to do himself. Overall, Rob is very likeable. He absolutely loves being a father and husband. He is more hands-on than any other father I have ever met, which our kids benefit from so much. I think he is teaching our sons how to be a great dad and husband and will teach a little girl to not settle for less. He never complains, even when it is probably warranted! He is very genuine – what you see is what you get. More than anything, he would do anything for us without a single hesitation or thought of himself. I have never once doubted his love or commitment to me and our family and cannot even fathom a time without him.
All About Andrew
Andrew is our oldest son. He is nurturing, sensitive, passionate and expressive. He is very respectful and helpful to others. His teachers have told us that they wished they had a whole classroom of “Andrews”! He loves to cuddle and has always needed to be in arm’s length of one of us, starting from day one. He loves to be outdoors and helping Daddy with any project around the house. From a very young age, Andrew was always wanting to learn about tools, how things worked and would tinker around with all sorts of things he could find around the garage. Andrew loves playing sports and being creative through art. At his core, Andrew is a very sweet and caring person. When he first saw his baby brother Ryan get a shot at the doctor, he started to tear up and wanted to protect his little baby from any pain. He loves playing with both of his little brothers and will tolerate most things they do. Andrew has the sweetest dimples anyone has ever seen and when he smiles, everything is right in the world. When we talked with Andrew about adopting a baby sister, his main concern was that her birth Mother would be sad if she came to live with us – we had to explain to him that adoption, although sad, is a very loving thing to do. Andrew’s emotions run deep and his ability to show empathy towards others far exceeds his age.
Andrew’s thoughts on adoption: “She’ll be so lucky to have 3 big brothers to help her with all sorts of things.” “I promise to teach her all kinds of things to do.”
All About Benjamin
Benjamin is our middle son. He is funny, quick-witted, thoughtful and independent. He wants to do most things on his own, but still desires affection from Mommy and Daddy. He is the king of one-liners and does not hold back his opinion. You can always count on Benjamin to give it to you straight! He loves being a big brother to little Ryan and will often remind people that he gets to be the big and little brother at the same time. He certainly inherited Daddy’s wit and comical timing. Our friends and family have come to know them as “Benisms” because we always have a weekly report of something funny Benjamin said or did. Benjamin is known to everyone as Ben-Ben – I often wonder how long he’ll let us continue to call him that. He is very strong-willed and will stand his ground quite often; a trait which we admire, but one that can make parenting a challenge at times. Benjamin has taught us that our parenting skills have to adapt to each of our children, as no two are the same. We have learned to adjust to each of their needs and find what works. Benjamin loves things that exercise his mind! He was able to put together puzzles and complete math problems at a very young age. He also loves to get on the baseball field with his big brother and play tee ball. When Benjamin smiles, his whole face lights up! He has the biggest blue-grey eyes you have ever seen. He’s a spunky kid that loves to dance, laugh and be goofy!
Ben’s thoughts on adoption: “She’ll have a nice, loving family living with us.” “I promise to show her how to do the right thing.”
All About Ryan
Ryan is our youngest son. He is calm, loving, intelligent and cheerful. He always has a smile on his face! Even as a newborn, he would never cry when he was tired. Instead, he would “sing” in a particular way that would let you know he wanted to sleep. He is very easy-going and will go with the flow of whatever is happening around him. He gets so excited to see his big brothers in the morning and when they get home from school. Ryan always wants to be one of the guys and will try to participate in whatever Andrew and Benjamin are up to. He is constantly learning from everything around him in his environment and is very meticulous when it comes to trying to figure things out. He loves to cuddle and be held. I think Ryan has benefited so much from the fact that we are seasoned professionals with this whole parenting thing! We don’t sweat the small stuff or get frustrated with sleepless nights and teething pains, because we know, those are time-limited hurdles. We have absolutely become more relaxed with each of our boys and have a new appreciation for each stage our children are in at the moment.
Our Style of Parenting
Our parenting styles are very similar and flow together nicely. We both believe in positive praise and encouragement along with clear rules and expectations. We value the fact that our children have emotions and opinions that are worthy of validation and acknowledgement. We believe in consistency and routine and find that kids are less anxious when they know what to expect and thrive in a calm, loving environment. We rarely need to discipline our kids and often get comments on how well-behaved they are as a whole. When they have their moments, we’re very good about following through with consequences (usually a loss of a privilege) and then talking with them about the problem. We don’t hold grudges; every day is a new day and an opportunity to make better choices. Overall, we want our kids to know that they are loved unconditionally and that we are always here to listen and support them. We work hard to ensure that our children are with one of us most of the time. Luckily, Rob is able to write his own schedule so we are able to coordinate things easily. We do need help with childcare two days a week and so Rob’s parents help us. They’re both retired and love coming over to spend that quality time with the kids. Thankfully, if our children are not in our care, they have the next best thing by being cared for by Nana and Papa!
We have been blessed to become very close with a small number of families in the past few years. We all live in about a one mile radius from each other and our children all attend the same neighborhood elementary school. We are always getting together for play dates at the park or pool, movies, holiday crafts, birthday parties, fun community activities, meals out and baseball games. All of our children intermix in age and grades, so there is always someone to play with! We all help out with each other’s children however we can whether it be bringing extra snacks on playdates or with rides to school. Our elementary school offers great enrichment classes that our children love participating in from art, to learning Spanish and Hip Hop, to learning engineering through fun with Legos! They always have a blast together at school!
Holidays, Family Trips and Traditions
We love celebrating 4th of July, Halloween and Christmas. We have a tradition of eating pizza, having ice cream and then setting up our chairs and blankets at a park in our neighborhood to watch a spectacular display of fireworks. At Halloween, we get together with all of our neighborhood friends and enjoy dinner together before trick-or-treating as one big group! Our kids always love talking about what they are going to dress up as for Halloween. Christmas is always a fun time for our family, being that we have so many little ones amongst us. We let the kids get their own smaller Christmas tree that they are free to decorate however they like. Rob and I host my family for Christmas Eve during which my brother dresses up as Santa and surprises the kids with gifts and treats. We eat a big meal and enjoy delicious desserts and homemade hot chocolate that my sister-in-law cooks up. After our bellies are stuffed, we go on our annual Winter Wonderland Walk to see awesome lights and decorations before getting to sleep to rest up for all of the wonderful things Santa brings on Christmas morning.
We love planning fun trips and adventures to take our children on. We go to Disneyland every year in December when the weather is cool and the lines tend to be shorter! We usually spend 2 days there and stay overnight in a fun hotel. Every summer we have a water slide party complete with great food and treats. We have also enjoyed weekend trips during the summer to camp in style in a cabin in Santa Barbara close to the beach. Our kids love running around the camp site, sleeping in a cabin and playing at the beach. This summer we have a little trip planned to stay at a resort with a built-in water park and lots of fun kid-friendly activities like glow in the dark mini golf and bowling.
While the activities, trips and holidays are always special, we try to make the simple things wonderful too. Every Sunday Rob and the kids make a big pancake and bacon breakfast. Benjamin and I play Pictionary in the car as we wait for Andrew to get out of school. We read books before bedtime and enjoy cuddles in the morning! The boys love to blast music and play air-guitar with Rob while singing and dancing around the house. The boys and I love to do puzzles together or play games. The kids like to go out back and play ball or ride their bikes. When the weather is nice, we like to take walks in our neighborhood. We really just love being together as a family and relaxing around the house when we can. As parents, we feel that these are the things our kids will remember most.
Our Promises to Your Baby
We promise to love your baby unconditionally! We promise to support and encourage her in every way possible while telling her daily how valued, important, wanted and loved she is. We promise to let her explore all sorts of interests and adventures while building her self-confidence. We promise to always tell her how special she is and how much love you had for her when you chose adoption.
Thank you for taking the time to get to know a little bit about our family. We want nothing more than to complete our family through adoption and look forward to getting to know each other!