Not so long ago, I sat in your exact situation, I was scared and confused and not quite sure of what my future held. I am going to tell my story, so maybe I can help you in your process. Know that you aren’t alone in this journey! My experience at AdoptHelp and with adoption in general was an amazing one! I learned more about myself than I could have ever imagined, and I did it with a smile. So this is my story, one full of hope, love and smiles. I hope it helps you to make the right choice for you! Just know you’re not alone, and the people at AdoptHelp are amazing people who have hearts of gold.
My journey began when I found out I was pregnant and I didn’t exactly know what to do, but I knew I wasn’t going to take the easy way out! I decided to do an online search, thinking to myself, “I’ll just check it out, there’s nothing wrong with that”
After about 12 different sites, I found AdoptHelp. After reading EVERYTHING the site had to offer, I sat there mesmerized by the life one of these couples could provide, the life I knew I couldn’t. I read all the info, then after a couple of hours, I decided to call the 24 hour number at the bottom of the page. When Michelle answered the phone at midnight, I talked to her for about an hour. She made me feel ok with the thoughts that were going thru my head, she told me that adoption is the most unselfish thing anyone could do and that putting my baby’s needs before mine was never a bad thing. She said she would set me up with a case worker, and they would contact me soon.
All the thoughts running through my mind. “If I do this, will my family disown me?” “One day will my baby know that I loved him so much, that I choose the life for him I know he deserved?” “Will he hate me?”
When I talked to my case worker we discussed my situation and what I thought about it. We talked about my goals and morals in life, and how growing up would be for the baby, if I chose to keep him. She became my best friend and my rock. I could call her if I needed anything. She was always there for me! After a lot of talking, I knew that adoption would be the best for my situation at the time. Being a single mother, trying to finish school, work, and still trying to provide the life I felt my baby deserved seemed as far away as impossible. So I chose adoption.
It took me a couple weeks to figure out how I was going to tell my family. I was WAY too emotional and just wanted to wake up from the dream I felt I was living. After telling my family that I was prego and that I chose adoption… I explained why… trying to fight the tears, I poured my heart out to the ones I hoped would support me the most. The room was silent for quite a while, then my grandfather (the leader of the pack) walked up to me and just held me, a hug I will never forget… he told me that he was so proud of me for making the right choice.
At that moment, I didn’t care what anyone else thought. My grandpa, the man I admired the most in life, told me how proud he was! With that off my chest, I started thinking about the real deal at hand. What did I want my son’s parents to be like? How did I want him to be raised? What would they look like? How would they be? WHO WERE THEY??!!?!?
After going through about 12 packets, my heart kept telling me that Tom and Heidi were a gift from God!! I chose them because they were able to provide the life that I knew I wanted for him. When Tom called me that first night I had prepared myself for a very tough conversation. But as soon as I heard the voice on the other end of the phone my heart was at ease and I knew everything was going to be ok! When I got off the phone I just laid on the couch and smiled, not a tear! I felt ok, and I couldn’t wait to talk to the woman that would be my son’s mother! She was so concerned about me and all life was handing me and she actually became more than just his mother, she became my friend. I chose to move to Los Angeles when I was 6 months along. I had butterflies with 12-foot wings inside my stomach.., that and a baby… man, I felt almost seasick! Our journey from there was amazing. We went to dinners, doctor appointments, and the movies.
After months of anticipation, D-day was finally here. We went in at noon to get induced. They didn’t leave my side. By 8:34 that night, we had a 7lb 3oz, little boy… our bundle of love. I was doing ok and I got to watch them with Jack. I saw them love him, hold him and, most of all, take care of him! I spent as much time as I could with Jack as well. I told him to listen to my heartbeat, because my heart will always have the most amount of love in it, just for him. I told him that I would always love him.
Saying goodbye to Jack wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated! I kissed his little forehead; told him goodbye and that I loved him. But the hardest goodbyes were yet to come: Saying goodbye to Heidi, she held me in her arms and told me how much she loved me and how thankful she was! She told me that she will do her best, and not to worry about them because they would be ok!
When it came time to hug Tom (the man who tried not to develop a deep relationship with me in fear of being hurt) I broke down. He held me so tight and just thanked me with all his being. He was crying so hard, telling me how much he loved me and that I’m his angel!
Rolling out of the hospital the nurse that had just witnessed our goodbye was crying. She stopped my wheelchair in the hallway right outside the doors and got in front of me. She said, “You are the most amazing girl I have ever met; God has a special place in heaven just for you.” I gave her the biggest hug, and thanked her so much!
It’s been quite some time now and things are good. My situation is perfect, my story is amazing and I’ve become a better person in this walk of life. I will always be thankful for AdoptHelp. They erased my worst fears! And helped me make the best out of a hard situation! I love them!