July 23rd, 2019
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Tips to Consider for Your First Conversation with Adoptive Parent(s)

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Tips to Consider for Your First Conversation with Adoptive Parent(s)

For birth mothers:  Your first conversation with the adoptive parent(s) is very important and will hopefully provide you with a lot of information about the family that may adopt your child. While you may be nervous for this initial conversation, just remember that many adoptive parents share the same fears as you! Thinking of your questions beforehand and following these tips can help to ease your nerves.

Parent with Child

  • It’s ok to be nervous: The adoptive parent(s) are probably just as nervous as you are. This first conversation can sometimes feel like a first date.

  • Avoid very personal questions: Avoid asking questions about their infertility journey, receiving birth mother living expenses, etc.  Leave those difficult questions to your case worker and they can ask the adoptive parent(s) for you.

  • Keep in contact: Ask for their contact information so that you’re able to stay in touch with them during your pregnancy and keep them updated on how you’re doing.

  • Meeting before the birth: If you would like to meet the adoptive parent(s) before the birth of your baby, you can certainly ask them if they would like to arrange that with you.

  • Give information about your city: Since it’s likely the adoptive parent(s) will be traveling to you for the birth of the baby, tell them what your city is like and what they can expect.  Maybe suggest your favorite restaurant for them to try while they’re there!

  • Hospital information: If you already know which hospital at which you’ll be delivering, feel free to let them know. Knowing this information will allow adoptive parents to research airports and hotels ahead of time.

  • Ask questions, ask questions, ask questions: Be sure to ask them questions! We want you to be as comfortable as possible with the potential parent(s) before placing your child.

Some questions to consider asking are:

  • How long have you been wanting to adopt?
  • What is a typical weekend/weekday like in your household?
  • What are your hobbies?
  • What are your thoughts on disciplining children?
  • Will there be a stay at home parent?


  • Be yourself: Most importantly, be yourself!  The adoptive parents are already so excited to have been chosen by you and are so honored to potentially adopt your child!

  • Contact your case worker: Be sure to call your case worker to tell them how it went! Case workers are always willing to talk or help out in any way they can.

For more tips and advice about the adoption process, please call or email AdoptHelp at any time. Our case workers are here to help you create an adoption plan that suites your needs and will they will handle all of the details. Visit our website at https://www.adopthelp.com/contact-us/ or call 1-800-637-7999 for more information!

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