If you know an expectant birth mother who is considering adoption, it’s important to support her decision through this difficult process. There are likely many reasons why she decided to place her child into a new home, but what she needs right now is your acceptance of her decision, as well as your support throughout the process.
The following are some suggestions for consoling and supporting expectant mothers who may be considering adoption:
Remind Her that Adoption is Motivated by Love
Adoption is often portrayed in a negative light when it’s just viewed as a birth mother “giving up her baby for adoption.” However, it’s an entirely unselfish act for a birth mother to place her child with an adoptive family. This decision is for the future of her child, as she knows that she’s providing her child the opportunity to live a healthy and prosperous life. If a birth mother is feeling uncertain of her decision, it’s important to provide reassurance that adoption is a decision motivated by love for her child.
Build a Support Group
When deciding to place her baby for adoption, a birth mother needs the support of her family and close friends. It’s likely the birth mother is feeling overwhelmed by the decisions she has to make. So, gathering a supportive group of loved ones together will help ease her mind and provide her with space to talk about her experiences and hear from others that may have been in a similar position. As a group, it’s important to reassure her that she can take the process one step at a time and doesn’t need to make every decision all at once.
Programs like AdoptHelp will also allow birth mothers to work directly with a case worker to assist in those difficult decisions and ease the stress of the adoption process.
Help Her Look Past the Pregnancy
An unexpected pregnancy is overwhelming for any birth mother, and will likely distract her from other important events in her life. If the birth mother can’t seem to get the pregnancy off her mind, assist her by creating goals beyond her pregnancy. Help her stay optimistic about her situation and focus on building an exciting future for herself. Goals could include going on a trip with family and friends, finishing up her studies, or building new skills.
Be There for Her Before and After the Process
Depending on your relationship with the expectant mother, a single outreach of encouragement won’t be enough. Don’t be a stranger, spend quality time with her so that she understands that you’re there for her. Make regular plans to take her mind off the pregnancy and be present whenever she may need to talk over the phone or in person.
Birth mothers may still struggle emotionally after the pregnancy, as it can be difficult having a child grow up and not be there to experience it. That is why it’s absolutely critical that you maintain your support after a placement and remain available to console her through any emotions she may be feeling.
If you have any questions about placing a child for adoption, AdoptHelp can assist. We are dedicated to guiding birth mothers through every step of the adoption process. Call us at 800-637-7999 to speak directly to one of our case workers.